Relief

So a lot has happened since we last talked, for the better.

First off, I ended things with older xc boy. Shit was gettin weird real fast- like, he made me a painting. And said he was jealous of the arp. So lol. People are weird.
Second, Shan and I are friends again. Praise the lawd. She's my girl. If I woulda lost her I would have been a lost soul wandering aimlessly through college. I'm also gucci swag with the whole team (aside from t money)but I think I just gotta wait it out on that one.
If there's one thing I've learned from this whole experience it's that people move on, that's just life. That doesn't mean, however, that doing stupid things is excusable and pardonable in the future- ya gotta learn from your mistakes and realize that what you did was wrong, or else you'll never change. And people aren't gonna wanna hang out with an immature little egotistical bitchass.
I cannot begin to emphasize the importance of saying you're sorry. It changes everything, and shows that you actually give a dang. It also clears your conscience knowing that you made an active effort to fix the situation. And maybe that apology may not be initially accepted, but sometimes things take time to heal and you gotta learn to respect that and give people space.
I've also learned the importance of listening to your body. If it's telling you it needs something, or that you should stop doing something, you better flippin listen to it because nothing will get better unless you do what you know needs to be done.

Also, I just signed my first lease!! Could not be more excited. I'll be living with a great group of girls, and although it's pretty spendy I think we'll be very happy with our decision to live there. I really need to find an internship/ job of some sort, but I'm sure I'll figure that kind of stuff out in time.

When I first came to college, I wanted nothing to do with my high school friends. I was in college mode- make as many new friends as possible. I wanted to leave my old life behind and just focus on the people who would potentially be my friends for the next four years to come. However, after being through almost my entire first year of college, I've learned how important it is to not throw those kinds of things away. Those friends, the high school ones, are also potential lifelong friends. They share common interests, a common background, and dammit they were there with you when you got drunk and went to the local bowling alley that one time. That kind of shit is what brings people together. And although sometimes our friend group gets on my nerves, I've realized in college how rare it is to find a group of 14 some kids that just get each other. There's no drama, just straight up brotherly love. Every single one of those kids has a special spot in my heart, and I know I can call absolutely any of them about my problems and they'll listen to me. I also love how everyone in that friend group is so down for exploring. Cuz it's hard to find adventurers here at urban UST, as much as I may love the city-goers. It's fun to go "out on the town" and all, but sometimes I just wanna go hike around the woods a bit or jump in some random ass lake. Or throw a dart at a map of Minnesota and go there for the day.
But yeah, through this whole fiasco, I've realized how blessed I am to have friends at home who care about my problems here and want to help me improve the situation and feel better about myself, and remind me that I'm not a super terrible person and that there are people out there who care about me. And I am so, so lucky.

So yeah, moral of the story is: always keep in touch with old friends, and always try to be down to earth. Try to understand what people are going through/ see things from others' point of view, because at some point you may be in just about the same situation.

xo,
the klinks

ps- LIZ AND I ARE GOING TO THE ZOO AND I AM PUMPED